July 2011

Day 4 – Page 1 (Draft)

Alright, I’ve already did my first draft of Page 1 of Day 4. Let me know what you think. Thanks.



Character personalities

The idea of this post is to write down the personalities of the characters in the comic. In other words: how we’re going to portray them.

Preferably, as close to their cartoon-personalies as possible.

I don’t know all t characters and their shows, so please, add in the comments what you know about characters that haven’t been mentioned and share ideas about those that have been.

I’m starting with the girls currently in the day 4 scenario.


Trixie Tang: Rich girl, knows she’s pretty but deep down doesn’t care. Interested in comics and general nerd-stuff. Everyone expects her to be popular, because she’s rich & hot. She does this because she feels she has to, but resents it.

Timmy/Timantha: Pretty much a clueless kid with stupid parents and a horrible babysitter, Vicky. He uses his fairygodparents to wish for all kinds of stuff he thinks will make his life better, but usually they don’t and he reverts the wishes, having learned something in the progress. I think this experience will be the same, although a bit beyond the childish level of the cartoon. And by that I do not mean finding out what’s so different about girls in general. There will be that, but also more.

Tootie: Has a crush on Timmy. Often viewed as psycho, but she’s really just a stalker. She has fantasies, but when push comes to shove, she’s wouldn’t kidnap Timmy or anything.

Goo: In FHFIF, she basically represents that kid we all know who just won’t stop rambling on and on about something he/she’s fantasizing about and how great this and that would be, and so on and so forth. Annoying, but nobody wants to point it out because nobody really wants to hurt the feelings of the little kid who’s just trying to get some attention. And that’s basically what she’s after: attention.

Jade-Chan: Didn’t see this show a lot. Her uncle always leaves her behind when he goes on missions, which she doesn’t like. So she sneaks along anyway. Doesn’t like being told “it’s too dangerous” and stuff like that. Inidivualist spirit who believes she can take care of herself, but not above asking help.

Day 4 – Script Sample

This is a sample script for page 1 of Day 4. I know I’m not the writer, but it’s a lot easier for me to draft out a script before sketching some samples. Let me know what you think, I’ m not the best writer of course, but this could save us a lot of time planning the comic.

P.S: Sorry I didn’t get this as text, but I couldn’t Export it without destroying the formatting.

Camp Sherwood Map Layout – Draft

Draft of Camp Sherwood Layout, A more final version will be drawn up once members agree and if any changes are needed to be made.


Day 4 writeup.

Day 4 - The Campout

This write-up synthesizes the chatlogs, recent IRC chats, and discussion in the thread.

Three cabins's worth of girls have hiked out to sleep the night in tents in the woods. We begin with the setting up camp in the afternoon to avoid a redundant hike scene. Camp counselors' spiel gives instructions/reminders to the girls, and establishes the scene for the reader. We're here, we're doing this, do this, don't do that, et cetera. Call it the first page. 

Both cabins that were in Day 3 are there, plus a third. So our cast list is:
Counselor Sam's cabin with Tim, Veronica, Helga, Tootie, and Goo.
Counselor Kim's cabin with Trixie, Lor, Dani, Mandy, and Juniper.
Counselor Vicky's cabin with Brit, Tiff, Tish, Buttercup, Kari Kamiya, and Jade Chan.

A short sequence, maybe a page, showing the tents finally set, the evening going quick around a campfire, s'mores, hotdogs, marshmallows, someone with a flashlight under their face telling a scary story, all the clich├ęs in a montage.

The girls file into their tents thusly:
A tent with the counselors.
Brit and Tiff with Tish.
Helga, Mandy, and Buttercup.
Trixie, Veronica, and Jade Chan.
Dani, Juniper, and Kari.
Tim, Tootie, Goo, and Lor.

Now we get into the meat of the plot. Brit and Tiff bribe Vicky to take the night watch and turn a blind eye to any bullshit they may perpetrate. Shenanigans will ensue.

As the night progresses, we see events in the tents playing out as they will. Brit and Tiff begin the verbal and emotional manipulation of their nearest victim, Tish. Helga, Mandy, and Buttercup playing poker for toothpicks (depict the three most epic poker faces in history here). Jade Chan breaking out the comics, Trixie and Veronica hiding their interest. Dani and Juniper making a herculean effort not to brutally murder their peppy tent-mate Kari. Tim trying to follow the bizarre world of girl talk, and Goo's steady drone of words putting Tootie to sleep. Some of these, of course, need less to be shown than others, from a panel or two to a page. The one with the most page real estate at this point should probably be the hazing of Tish, followed by Tim's tent, a few panels for Trixie and veronica, a panel or two for the rest.

These events then continue to develop. Trixie and Veronica both give in at the same time and reach for the same comic, their hands touch briefly. Veronica quickly finds another comic and hides her softly blushing face with it. Brit and Tiff's domination of Tish becomes more extreme, bordering on sexual, Tiff breaks out the genuine police-issue handcuffs. Tootie has begun masturbating in her sleep, and Goo wakes her up (while bringing the other girls' attention to it) with a HeywhatchadointhatlooksneatandwhosTimmy?! Tootie is mortified and Lor pulls a familiar trick to defuse the situation, she starts playing with herself too, starting a mutual masturbation session (Goo would probably be more interested in watching this odd behavior than participating).

Further on, Brit and Tiff have gotten Tish into some kind of fetish wear. They send her across the site to get them something to snack on from the breakfast supplies. The girls in Tim's tent have put themselves to sleep, but Tim's lying awake with his head out the tent-flap, looking up at the stars and moon through the branches and trying to figure out if he's okay with what just happened in there. He notices Tish walking back across camp in the fetish outfit (with a bag of illicit goodies) and goes to investigate, then gets roped into it himself. In another tent, Jade tells Trixie and Veronica they can keep the comics they're reading, she's read them both enough.

Finally, we have Lor turning over, noticing Tim's absence. She leaves the tent, and sees on another tent the suspicious shadow of Brit and Tiff kneeling back to back with Tish and Tim being pulled on leashes toward their crotches. Lor comes in just in time to prevent the two girls from being forced into cunnilingus. Tish runs off into the trees immediately, Lor asks Timmantha if she's okay and tells her to go back to the tent before following Tish. Tish is leaning on a tree, breathing heavily. Lor asks her if she's okay, she yells of course she's not okay, Lor gives her a reassuring hug. Tish then adds softly that if it wasn't those two cunts doing it, it might not have been so bad. Pan out. End page, end night.

Still in chapter, open next page first panel with header caption 'The next morning, after a breakfast outdoors and a hike back to camp...'

Trixie sneaks off behind the empty lunch pavilion to finish reading her comic. Penelope follows, peeks around the corner with a quiet ' Interesting... very interesting.'

cut to Lor, Tim, and Tish sitting and talking in some outside scene. Maybe the stands at the baseball diamond, since we have references already? The remaining Populars minus Penelope and Trixie, led by Brit and Tiff, sit surrounding our hapless heroines and proceed to taunt and torment them them, with Brit and Tiff sneaking in offhand references to the previous night's events, 'Hope you like the... outfit you borrowed, dear. You can keep it, it suits you so well.' Et cetera.

Helga sees her bunkmates being harrassed, turns and starts to walk away, then sighs turns back, and juggernauts her way up. "Hey, you pantie-stains, these are my punching-bags, only I get to insult 'em!"

Brit and Tiff stand up to confront the peon who addresses them so crassly. Rhonda is stricken to the spot and looks like she might have a heart attack, since she knows the monster Helga. A small crowd of baseball players and spectators circle the scene with the customary chant of fight-fight-fight. Rhonda tries to escape but can't break through the pressing crowd, Brit and Tiff get whupped.

Counselor Jenny steps in and breaks up the fight, maybe thinking to herself something about how even the Krusts don't deserve to be beaten up like that. The Krusts recognize her voice as that damned robot girl even though she's in her skin disguise. They plan to strike upon her out of principle as she leads Helga away to the administration building and the crowd disperses. Close chapter.

Excuse me must go and masterbate to my collection of Yuri PRONZ!

Pages 27,28,29 text edit

These are the Pages with redone text. ALL text on these pages was retyped, but only some of it was changed. These edits seem more inline and realistic to Trixie’s character to me.

Hey Etherian

EDIT: nevermind, all is fixed now, thanks to Tako. Issues with private and public posts.


My thoughts and my part of the story are in a comment to your original post.